Gate B47. A traveler, dehydrated and vulnerable. A refrigerated case, glowing like a shrine. One (1) bottle of water: $13.99, plus tax, plus a checkout kiosk that suggested a 25% tip for itself.
“I just stood there,” our survivor recalls. “The bottle said ‘artesian.’ I don’t know what artesian means. At that price, the artesian should carry my luggage.”
Airport officials defended the pricing as “reflecting the unique logistics of retail beyond security,” a phrase our economists translate as “you can’t leave, and we know it.”
The traveler ultimately purchased the water. The kiosk asked him to rate his experience with a smiley face. He chose the middle face. He wanted the angry face. He was afraid of a face-selection fee.
The Awful Deals Editorial Cabal rates this deal: 🔩🔩🔩🔩🔩 (five screws out of five).