GougeMarketCap™ Top 8 — the worst deals known to commerce, ranked by pure audacity. Rankings update in real time based on absolutely nothing. Methodology: a random number generator wearing a tiny suit.
| # | The Deal | Sticker Price | Actual Price | Audacity | Audit Status |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 🍿 Movie theater water | “$7” | $7 + your dignity | GALACTIC | refused entry |
| 2 | 🏨 Hotel “resort fee” (no resort) | $0 (mandatory) | $39/night for vibe access | SHAMELESS | the vibe declined to comment |
| 3 | 🎫 Ticket “service fee” | 29% of ticket | the service is the fee | OPERATIC | fee’d the auditors |
| 4 | 🖨️ Printer ink | $54/thimble | more per gallon than dragon’s blood | HISTORIC | cartridge “not genuine” |
| 5 | 🚗 Dealership “market adjustment” | MSRP | MSRP + $6,000 for existing | BOLD | manager unavailable |
| 6 | 🏋️ Gym annual “enhancement fee” | $49 | $49 for nothing, annually, forever | CLASSIC | only accepts faxes |
| 7 | ✈️ Seat selection fee (any seat) | $31 | the floor was $19 | SOARING | audit delayed 4 hrs |
| 8 | 🧾 Convenience fee to pay a bill | $3.95 | $3.95 to give them money | TIMELESS | audit incurred a fee |
Mission Control
Refund launches attempted: 1,024,876 · Refunds landed: 3 · Vouchers issued instead: 1,024,873 · The vouchers expired: yes